Recommended Reading: The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up

I have been reading a lot of books lately about organizing, simplifying and minimal living. I don't read them because I feel like we really "need" them, Phil and I are both pretty neat, organized people and we never hang on to much clutter. But, I still really enjoy them (I guess that's the nerd in me). I enjoy getting new ideas. I enjoy the new perspective that living with less gives me.

I recently read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo and I loved it. Most of the organizational books I have read all pretty much say the same thing. They tell you when you should get rid of your stuff (when you haven't used it for a year, when it breaks, when you no longer have a place for it, etc...), how you should get rid of your stuff (work on one room at a time, get rid of one thing each day, etc.), and then how to store the things you keep. I like to clean and I like to get rid of stuff. We get rid of stuff all the time (I take a bag to the thrift store every couple of months at least). But none of the books I have read have taken the approach that Marie Kondo does in this book.

She only has one rule when it comes to when to get rid of stuff: get rid of everything that does not bring you joy. And she has one rule for how to get rid of stuff: all at once.

Obviously, some things you just need to have, whether they really bring you joy or not, like toothpaste and toilet paper and wash cloths. But really, when you think about it, most things do require some thought and choice on your part and you should choose the things that you love and make your house feel like home and then get rid of the things that you don't love and that don't bring you joy. This perspective may seem trite, but actually it really works. We hold on to so many things for all the wrong reasons: "maybe I will need it one day, it still works just fine, I spent so much money on it, it was a gift, etc." Even if all of those reasons are true, if you don't love the item, why are you keeping it?

Her second rule, that you tidy your whole house in one go also makes a lot of sense. She doesn't imply that you should actually do it all in one day (unless you actually can do that) but that you continue to work on tidying, in the order she suggests, until you are done (maybe over the course of a week, month or even several months if necessary). If you stop in the middle of the process, or do things out of order, there is a greater chance that you won't finish, or that you will rebound to your old ways and start collecting clutter again.

I think one of the things I loved best about this book was that it takes the focus off of discarding and instead emphasizes enjoying the things you have. I have often focused too much on getting rid of things to make our space neat and tidy, only to find that I have to get rid of things again before much time has passed at all. Instead, if you focus on the things you love, and why you love them, you stop buying unnecessary objects and later don't have so many things to discard. It has really made me appreciate my belongings more, and even given me a new outlook on the things that I have gotten rid of. Rather than feeling guilty about discarding something that I didn't use that much, I can still appreciate it for helping me to know better what I do and don't like, and then I can move on.

Also, my sock drawer. Kondo talks about socks in some detail and at first I thought it was ridiculous. I have always rolled and folded my socks in the same way everyone does (fold the elastic band of one sock over both socks to have a little bundle) and couldn't believe that it really mattered. But, I was curious enough to try out the way she recommends and I cannot believe how happy it makes me. not only do all of my socks now fit in a drawer half the size of the one they were in previously, but I can see all of them at once instead of having to dig around to find the pair I want. I was so excited by the outcome that I did the same things with Phil's socks, and he loves it too. This new way will definitely keep me from over-buying in the future.

I didn't take a before picture of my sock drawer, but I got one of Phil's which pretty much looked the same as mine did before I organized it: 

And this is after I added some magic, plus fit all the socks in a smaller drawer. My drawer looks pretty similar, except that I have lots of tights and peds along with my socks. 

Have you read this book? What did you think about it?

Recommended Reading: Radical Homemakers

It took me a while to finish reading Radical Homemakers. I really enjoyed it, but it was a lot more dense than some of the others I have read recently. It was just packed full of information and gave me a lot to think about.

I will start off by saying that I did not agree with everything the author, Shannon Hayes, wrote, and I feel that she may have been too biased and not factual enough in some parts. This book was a bit more liberal-minded in discussing some issues than I tend to be, especially in it's vilification of big corporations, some ideas about healthcare, and some financial and retirement advice that I did not agree with. However, that being said, it did put into words a lot of what I have been thinking and feeling more and more lately.

I felt that the central idea was that people today seem to be working more and more trying to earn more and more money to pay for the more and more things that they buy, while at the same time families and communities are being damaged because relationships are not given the time and energy they need.

Radical Homemakers begins by addressing some of the issues we currently see in society such as overworking, overspending, disconnected families, and suffering communities. Many feel that if they are not busy, if they do not have a big house, a nice car, and expensive things, then they are not successful. The key, the author suggests, to correct these issues is to leave corporate America behind and focus on hearth and home.

Hayes then goes on to give the reader an in-depth history lesson on homemaking. She explains what the word homemaking really means, what it meant in feudal times, and how it has evolved since the industrial revolution. She talks about men's roles historically as co-homemakers, as well as the "housewife syndrome" that arose especially during the 1950's. She discusses the progression from families that all worked together within a household to grow their own food, make their own clothes, repair their belongings, cook and eat meals together, etc., to society now that buys everything, both spouses work 60 hours or more a week, children are over-scheduled and families rarely eat together.

"Radical" homemaking is more than just being a stay-at-home-mom (or dad), but involves incorporating certain ideas into your lifestyle such as (in the author's own words):

• nobody cares what you drive
• housing does not have to cost more than a single moderate income can afford
• health can be achieved without making monthly payments to an insurance company
• childcare is not a fixed cost
• education can be acquired and not bought, and
• retirement is possible, regardless of income

These "radical" ideas are then explained in greater detail with notes from interviews by the author done with 20 radical homemakers. They describe their decisions to leave behind (or never begin) a corporate career to allow more time with family. They have learned how to live with less money but have developed better relationships and greater skills. They talk about how they have learned to rely more on extended family and community to obtain the support (whether financial, material, emotional or other) they need. Many grow their own food, many only own one car, many homeschool their children.

This book gave me a lot to think about, and I enjoyed it. It made me think about some changes I could make in my own life and career as a homemaker and SAHM, such as reading more, developing new skills, planting a garden, and driving less. I would recommend this book, but with a word of caution to read it with an open mind, and with the understanding that many of the topics discussed as fact are really generalizations.  If you are looking for a lifestyle change, or want to learn more about homemaking, this is an interesting read. 

Recommended Reading: The Happiness Project

I had been hearing a lot about The Happiness Project, online, from friends, from other bloggers, and I decided I would give it a read. I didn't really know anything about it when I got it from the library, but I loved it almost immediately.

The author, Gretchen Rubin, goes through a period of reflection, and decides that her life is just too good to not be happier than she is. She and her husband are both well-employed, she has two daughters, lives in a nice home in the city she loves, and has loving and supportive extended family and friends. 

She began to research happiness in hopes to determine whether or not a person such as herself, with a pretty average life and no extreme lifestyle changes (such as a terminal illness or loss of job), could make herself happier. She decided to spend one year--focusing on different aspects of her life (marriage, work, hobbies, etc.) each month--doing things that would make her happier, and tracking her progress along the way. With that, The Happiness Project was born. 

I loved this book for a lot of reasons. First, because Rubin makes use of charts and resolutions to implement changes in her life, and it of seems exactly like something I would do too. Next, because she is so real and down to earth. She doesn't pretend to make any major break throughs that don't take time and hard work (in other words, this is not a "just follow these 4 steps to a happier life" kind of book), and is honest about her weaknesses and shortcomings. Finally, I loved this book because it really inspired me. I am a pretty naturally happy person, and I have really a pretty good life. But there are still things I could do to be even happier, and more grateful, and more well-rounded, and this book made me want to do those things.

The Happiness Project made me want to look a little deeper inside myself and see where I could improve, but not in such an "I am making this change because I should" (which is a result of feeling guilty) kind of a way, but more in an "I am making this change because I really want to and I enjoy it" kind of a way. I also read it in December, which was perfect to gear me up for a new year and encouraged me to think of resolutions to make myself happier in 2015.

I would recommend this book to anyone, whether you want to use it as a jumping off point to make changes in your life, or just as a casual read that will make you smile. Do enjoy.

Recommended Reading: Taking Charge of Your Fertility

I think I first heard about Taking Charge of Your Fertility while reading something on KellyMom, (a great resource for breastfeeding, by the way), and it sounded interesting, so I added it to my "to read" list. Later, I looked to see if I could check it out from the library, only I find that five people already had it on hold ahead of me. After a few months it finally made it to me and I hurried to read it since there were then nine more people waiting on the hold list after me. Apparently this is a very popular book, and now after reading it, I see why.

I found Taking Charge of Your Fertility to be an incredibly empowering book. I learned more about the female (and male too) reproductive system than I had ever known or heard before. I was so fascinated with everything that I learned and I couldn't believe I didn't know it before.  This book teaches about the "Fertility Awareness Method", or "FAM" which debunks the myth that most women have a 28-day cycle and ovulate on day 14, which is what most resources and doctors will tell you. Whether you are trying to get pregnant, trying not to get pregnant, or just want to be healthy, this book is for you (in other words, every single woman should read this book!).

Learning FAM will allow you to track your own fertility signs, which include waking temperature, cervical fluid, and cervical position (which the book explains is an optional sign). Tracking these signs is super easy and only takes a couple minutes each day. By knowing your own body and its fertility signs you can avoid using other methods of birth control, which often have unpleasant side effects, or be more likely to conceive if you are trying to get pregnant. Knowing this information also allows you to be more in control of your own gynecological health and provide useful information to your physician that they could otherwise only obtain through a series of tests.

Around the same time I got pregnant with Luke, I had two friends that were also trying to conceive. Both of them had been trying for nearly a year with no success, and both of them ended up seeing fertility specialists. One was able to then conceive after using Clomid, and the other conceived a few months later naturally. I felt lucky (which truthfully, kind of was luck, because we were following the ol' 12-17 day rule to get pregnant, not actually knowing when my most fertile days were. Now I know better.) that I was able to become pregnant so quickly when I realized what difficult and frustrating time they were both having.

Now, after reading this book, I wish I could go back in time and give it to them! It could have saved them so much grief. Usually, doctors make you try for a year before you can see a fertility specialist, but as explained in this book, if you are tracking your own fertility signs, you can know within 4-6 months if something is wrong. You will know if you aren't ovulating, or if you just have especially long cycles and ovulate later than the standard day 14 (which most women do!). With that information you can go to your doctor and explain your concerns, show them your charts and they will likely be able to help you sooner than one year. That doesn't mean that you won't need any other kind of intervention, you may still need to use Clomid or other fertility drugs, or your husband may need tests done as well, but at least it gives you a good start.

Taking Charge of Your Fertility looks like a big book, but it's really a pretty quick read. Even though it discusses biological and medical terms, it is not at all difficult to understand. In fact, you, like me, will probably feel surprised that you didn't already know something so simple about yourself. The author does a great job teaching about FAM and answering all of the questions you might have. About a third of the book is an appendix which includes sample charts, pictures, diagrams, FAQ, and anything else you might need to better understand. Seriously, get this book. It will change your life.

Have you read Taking Charge of Your Fertility? Did you love it as much as I did?

P.S. You can get more information about this book and FAM here: www.tcoyf.com

Recommended Reading: Postive Discipline: The First Three Years

I stumbled upon this book, Positive Discipline: The First Three Years, at the library a few months ago. My little one wasn't really having any discipline problems since he was only about 7 or 8 months old at the time, but I read a few pages and liked what I saw so I added it to my pile. After reading a bit more when I got home I soon couldn't put the book down and was giving my husband a summary of my reading every night before we went to bed. I don't know how many people I have already recommended this book to (probably more often unsolicited than not), but I just loved the information so much that I have wanted to share it with everyone.

This particular copy is just one of a whole series by the same author(s). You can read more about it on her website here. I plan to read more of her books as the little one grows and probably will re-read them again as we have more children, but The First Three Years was a great way to start. The book first spends several chapters discussing what discipline really is, how it is different from punishment, and how it should be used.  Then, it goes on to give the reader a much deeper understanding of behavior in infants and toddlers (in other words, why the do what they do). The authors do an excellent job explaining that what is often mistaken as misbehavior is almost always normal, age-appropriate behavior, especially when it comes to toddlers and infants. They talk about why time-out and using the word "no" don't have the effect adults expect them to, and why your child repeatedly does the same thing over and over and over, even though you have told them countless times not to.

Throughout the book we are reminded to use "kindness but firmness" and to especially utilize "redirection" when disciplining children. It also emphasizes the need children, especially toddlers, have to be in control and do things on their own, and gives lots of examples of how a parent can give their children choices that allow them to explore their own autonomy while at the same time establishing boundaries and guidelines that will teach the children to act appropriately at home and in society.

I think sometimes, parents have the idea that they should "just know" how to be a parent and they learn by trial and error, hoping for the best. Maybe they feel its a sign of weakness to ask for help or advice, but a point that this book makes is that for any other profession there is always schooling and training involved until the person can understand and complete their tasks. Why don't we do the same for parenting? There is nothing wrong with reading books, taking classes or asking for help and advice (as long as we use our own good judgment and don't try to implement everything everyone teaches us whether or not we agree with it).

I can't say enough good about this book. I would whole-heartedly recommend it to any parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle, babysitter, or even just anyone wanting to better understand children. Not only will it change your perspective when it comes to your own children, but also when you see other peoples' children, especially the tantrum-throwing ones at the grocery store (tantrums, by the way are not a sign of misbehavior, but normal, age-appropriate behavior, and this book gives great ideas on how to handle them).

I found this copy at my local library, but you can buy it online or probably at most book stores. It is a fairly quick read but still full of great information. I hope you'll check it out!